Another Awkward Week [2.14.14]

Me again? What! I'm having such a prolific week. I pinky swear I won't so much as say the words "wedding dress" one time. I mean, except there, where I had to say it to tell you I wouldn't say it. But no more. No more, I promise! Hey, Happy Valentines Day, you guys!!! What are you guys doing to celebrate? I'm wearing my red pants (though suspiciously no new Valentines Day socks this year, mom?!?!) and will be hosting my Second Annual  Romantic Valentine's Day Chip & Dip Party this afternoon. This year I'm taking it to the next level, conference room style. I'm even serving champagne! I will make V-Day fun for all, so help me Anna Howard Shaw.

If any of you are feeling grinchy and anti-Valentine this morning, allow me to redirect you to my manifesto on why it's actually not that bad and say to you: cheer up, you grouch! I love you!

Speaking of love, I'd like to sincerely thank you all for your sweet comments & notes of support for my family during this last week. You're a beautiful bunch, you know that?! Seriously. Thank you!

And now, without further ado, why don't we take a look back at what was keeping it awkward this week.

This Snowbank:

20140213_175151

There's literally nothing more boring than talking about the weather all the time, we get it, it's cold out, but sometimes, it can not be helped. For example: this week. ENOUGH with the snow and ice and thundersnow and freezing rain and wintry mixes, Mother Nature. You've had your fun, let's cut right to spring. I'm not joking around...I will hunt you down, Mother Nature, and I will hurt you.

Thanks to the horrors of this winter, the curbs and sidewalks of Brooklyn are now just buried in piles of ice and snow at all times. The other night I had a party after work, so came home pretty late. I'd worn my snow boots there and then changed into heels for the party, I'm such a classy bitch, and didn't bother putting the boots back on to come home. I took a taxi home and was counting on door-to-door service, but forgot that the path to my door is paved in sheer ice. The taxi dropped me at the corner next to my building, I paid, exited, took one step towards my front door and yup...

bit it.

Booty on ice, legs in the air, arms flailing: bit it.

Enough, winter, enough.

I am now done complaining. Possibly.

This Cheese:

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NOM.

This week's adventures in large-scale grocery purchases. I guess I didn't learn my lesson with that oatmeal.

If you'll recall, last weekend I had some hawt plans to gorge myself on veggie lasagna (this recipe! so good!) and gorge myself I did. I hit up the grocery store Sunday AM and had ricotta on my list, but didn't know how much I'd need for the 'zan (attempting to abbreviate "lasagna." NO, Liz, no). To be safe, I decided to just buy the largest tub I could possibly find. Turns out the recipe called for just 1/6 of this puppy.

Which leaves me with a large quantity of ricotta cheese just sitting in the fridge, tempting me, calling me, begging me to just grab a large spoon and stand in front of the fridge with the door wide open, shoveling ricotta right out of the container and into my face.

And OH have I been giving into that temptation. If you guys have never experienced the joy that is ricotta cheese straight up, I urge you to run, not walk, to your neighborhood grocery store and purchase the largest container you can possibly find. You can thank me later.

And on the subject of our hawt weekend...

This Bumping Nightclub:

20140208_192020 (1)

Oh wait, no, that's actually the laundromat, where Brian and I spent our Saturday night. We filled in the rest of the weekend doing our taxes, reorganizing the kitchen drawers and marathoning the epic Ken Burns masterpiece "The West."

Um, yeah, we know how to party. This is how boring we are and we're not even married yet! I'm so nervous (slash EXCITED!) for our future, where we just stay in every weekend and watch television and eat  noodles!!!!

And quickly on the topic of Ken Burns, basically his entire oeuvre is now available on Netflix, so if you, too, are a huge loser with many hours to fill ingesting thoroughly researched historical documentary miniseries...hop to.

This Ensemble:

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Something that I love is the concept of  attractive "lounge wear." Stores like Gap and Victoria Secret have whole lines of clothing dedicated to looking nice even while relaxing and TV and movies always show women somehow managing to look chic and cute while lazing around the home (especially Olivia Pope and her gorgeous cream colored satin wine clothes!)

I adore these outfits and aspire to some day look great even while getting my Ken Burns on but in reality...I am just not that gal.

The outfit above is a classic example of the sorts of get-ups I rock around the home. Plaids on plaids on stripes on stripes on neon and the reason my pants are so short is because I think it's really comfy to hike my PJ bottoms all the way up so they're basically sitting right below my boob line. It is an INSANELY sexy look. (Also what is that face?!)

And in case you're curious what sort of spicy lingerie I'll be changing into the second I get home this Valentines Evening...ding ding. You're looking at it. Brian is a lucky man.

The End! What a week. Here's wishing you a day full of hugs and smooches and candy hearts and photos of red roses captioned "Best boyfriend ever I'm such a lucky girl <3 <3 xoxo luv u hunny happy vday!" cluttering your facebook feed and all the chips and dips your heart could desire.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZocWZYJx6Ic]

luv u hunnies happy vday!

Liz Ho

Another Awkward Week [2.15.13]

Good morning, my beloveds! Did everyone have a nice Valentines Day? I wore red pants to work (the second time this week I wore those pants, shhhh) and invented a new VDay tradition that I am pretty excited about. I wanted to do something cute for my co-workers, since I am now the face and voice and body of Valentines Day Positivity, so I was trying to think of fun ideas. Everyone does candy and cupcakes and sweets and I don't have enough money to buy diamonds or roses for all of my work buds, so I thought, what do I love most of all in this world? Easy. Chips and dip!

So I invited a few of my colleagues to join me for a mid-afternoon snack break in my office "resplendent with chips, dip and romance."

dip

We ate our faces off, watched Justin Timberlake videos and listened to the Bodyguard Soundtrack.

Now THAT is love, my friends.

Speaking of romantic, last night Brian and I did prettttty much what we do every night,  just with slightly more elaborate food and better underwear (sorry Mom). My gift to him was a home cooked chicken pot pie, something he'd been craving lately, and it was delicious. To really make things special I also wrote a romantic love poem about our meal:

pot pie

A regular John Keats over here!

I thought of this dumb rhyme like two weeks ago and have been just laughing about it ever since. I slay myself. Good God, I am hilarious.

And that was my Valentine's Day! Here's what else was keeping it awkward this week:

This Backpack:

laundry bag

This is my laundry bag, overflowing as always. I have to go to a laundry mat (laundromat? is that actually a word?) up the street from my apartment and always look REALLY cool strutting through the neighborhood with this pack on  my back. This weekend I took a haul of dirty clothes and on my way to the laundrymat (Laundroplace?) I decided to stop into a bodega to get some juice which of course ended with me slamming this gigantic backpack of filthy clothes into the shelves and knocking over a few boxes of food and then I just ran out of the store without buying any juice because there was really no way I could make this situation work for me.

I can never go back there again.

Related: I would seriously chop off a limb to have laundry in my building. Just in my building! I don't even need it inside my own apartment, just somewhere that does not require me to strap on this beast and walk around town.

New York, I love you, but you suck so hard sometimes.

This Coffee Shop:vagAm I crazy, or does that say "Vag"?

This Mug:

mug

I bought it at Marshall's earlier this week on my lunch break (Treat Yo Self) and think it is just the cutest.  I came back from my errands and filled a different cup with emergen-c, because I am an addict, and was sitting there, drinking my vitamins and catching up on my emails and thought "oh, while I'm sitting here, I'll peel the price sticker off of the bottom of my mug, so I can use it later," so I picked up my mug and turned it upside down, except WHOOPS I picked up the wrong cup, the one filled with emergen-c, and poured it all over my desk and pants.

spotted pants

Attractive.

And yes, I was wearing jeans to the office. I might be a lazy slob, but here's what happens when I try to look cute:

These Tights:

tights

Riddled with holes. I was beyond proud of myself on Monday, I wore a dress and HEELS to the office. Heels, you guys. High heels. Like a grown ass classy lady. Only I looked down partway through the day to realize that I had gigantic runs and holes creeping up my legs. I give up!

And that was my week! One fun thing about doing these weekly roundups, aside from the attention, obviously, is that I've started to notice some defining patterns in my life. I think if you had to sum up the three main themes in my One Awkward Life they would be Ripped Clothing, Pantyhose and Spilling Things On My Desk.

What would define YOUR life??

Everyone have a splendiforous weekend - a 3 day weekend for me, Holla George Washington!, and keep that VDay love alive!

xo Liz Ho