Another Awkward Week [12.7.12]

Good morning, friends and lovers! How was everyone's week? Mine was extra neurotic, as discussed yesterday, but today I'm feeling like a whole new gal. I'm headed to Pennsylvania for a wedding this weekend so I took the day off work. I'm going to pamper myself, Liz Ho style. So far I indulged in a gigantic hoagie for breakfast, spent way too much money on tights and lip gloss at Duane Reade and as soon as I finish typing this bad boy, I'm off for a manicure.What a day, what a day! Now, without further ado, here's what was keeping it awkward this week:

This Haircut:

20121204_081821Because yikes! I chopped off all my hair! I impulsively went for something bold then rode a wave of anxiety all week deciding whether I loved it or hated it,and have come down on the side of love. It was touch and go there for a while - directly after I got it cut I called Brian and told him to "prepare his face for positivity" just in case he thought it was terrible. But now I'm feeling good. Getting a drastic hair cut can be wonderful - you get lots of attention and random colleagues stop you to tell you how pretty you looks, but also, it can be terrible and nervousmaking. The WORST is when someone sees you and just says "you got a haircut!" and then stops right there, no follow up.Do you love it? Do you hate it? Why are you just tellin' me something I already know? Sweet Jesus, don't leave me hanging.

This Water Bottle:

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Because yes that is Donald Trump's smiling mug emblazoned on the packaging. We went ice skating in Central Park last weekend - there is a great, not too crowded, inexpensive rink at the tippy top of Central Park which I'd totally reccomend for all you NYC readers or anyone visiting this winter and Donald Trump apparently gave a lot of ca$h monie$ to restore the rink because his name and face are plastered all over everything: the entrance, the snack stand, the walls and yes, even the water. What a classy, subtle man. And in case you're wondering the water tasted disappointingly of regular, normal, poor person water and did not contain any floating pieces of gold.

This Week's Adventures in Hosiery:

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Because why is this blog suddenly All Pantyhose, All The Time? I need to get my legwear under control. This week I went to the gym after work and realized I'd forgotten socks. I did consider reading this as a sign I should just head home and get in bet instead of running but my Holiday Season love handles spoke louder than my sockless feet so I just shoved my hose down as far as I could and hit the treadmill. It was not a good look.

This Snowman:

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Because I found him on my desk Monday morning, a lovely treat from a sweet colleague and moments later my assistant walked in on me with his whole entire head in my mouth just gnawing away at his chocolatey noggin. Attractive.

RIP, Mr Snowman. You were delicious!

This Tumblr:

http://yourllbeanboyfriend.tumblr.com/

Because it is hilarious and clever and yeah, I'll go right ahead and say it: arousing. And that, as my friend Red pointed out, is where it gets awkward. As she noted, either LL Bean is stepping up their model game...or we're getting old. It was just a few years ago that this esteemed brand was associated with lame old dads and now we're entertaining impure fantasies of wild yet stylish cabin vacations with these plaid shirted, cable knit sweatered, sensibly belted, old, lame, dad-like dudes.

Yup. We're old. Le sigh.

PS: this one totally looks like my actual boyfriend, score!

Aaaand, Best for Last...This Music Video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGNIDXUaVts

Because, well, go ahead and watch and then we'll discuss.

Ready?

It's ok if it takes you a while...I had to pause every 20 seconds or so due to sheer secondhand embarrassment the first time I watched.

Ok, now that we've watched, a few questions:

  1. How much do you think this cost, 12 dollars?
  2. Where is this set, a bus stop?
  3. WHAT is on John's face?
  4. And what happened to Olivia's face??
  5. Are we supposed to buy that they're like, in love?
  6. Have you ever been less enticed to imagine two people 'making love all night...followed by postcoital weeping over a classic Christmas movie...in matching pajamas...??
  7. Does Olivia say someone's going to be "swinging from the chandelier?" who? WHAT?

Ok, enough of that. Here's a charming Christmas palate cleanser:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWEfszb9h8Q

Girl's still got it!!

And there you have it. Another awkward week in the can and just a few more until Christmas, can't wait! Going to swing from the chandeliers and hang out at the bus stop all season long. What are you up to this weekend? Any exciting plans? You know I'd love to hear about them.

xoxo Liz

One Awkward(ly Triumphant) Return

Oh you guys! We are so embarrassed! We completely forgot to put up our Out-Of-Blog message. We’ve been closed for Summer Vacation, because adults totally get Summer Vacation, and have been so busy with boogey boarding and lemonade stands and white parties in the Hampton's and all of that classic summer tomfoolery. And then, of course, we were closed in observance of every single one of the Muslim and Jewish High Holidays because we are all about freedom of religion. This blog is building a mosque on 9/11! Thank you so much for forgiving our faux pas and please do not fear. Autumn is upon us and the religious season is over (probably not, those Jews never quit with the High Holidays) and just like Primetime Television, We. Are. BACK. You’re probably noticing a switch in tone from the singular to the plural. Good observation, nerd! This change reflects not the royal We, nor the schizophrenic We (yet!) nor that fancy journalist We, when the writer speaks for the whole paper and says we, we, we and mostly sounds like a weirdo. This “we” is the literal, plural, more-than-one-person We. That’s right, folks – One Awkward Year is now bringing you two times the awkward, two times the sexy, two times the love.

Meet A! A is for Awkward and also for Awesome and also for Additional, as in she’s an Additional Contributor to your favorite blog. A brings a wealth of humor and talent and flat-out absurdity to this esteemed publication. In addition to sharing her own Awkward Moments (i.e. listening while a co-worker simulates phone sex during an office function), A will help connect this blog to the interweb, linking us in with videos, jpegs, memes, widgets, flim-flams, and other cool internet trends. She’ll help to make OAY (cool new acronym!) more interactive, up-to-date and visually stimulating. At the very least, she’ll just be one more person logging on, and writing pathetic stories about her writers’ block and apologizing for lack of blogging. Who doesn’t want more of that??

So, everyone, be nice to A! Welcome her with open arms (and legs, lol, gross) and treat her as you’d treat a friend. I know you’re probably a little nervous, and a little skeptical, but this is a GOOD THING. Think about when a beloved TV show adds a new character and makes it even more beloved. At first you’re scared, sure, I mean, did Sean Hunter really need a long-lost half brother? But then, you meet Sean’s long-lost half-brother and he’s whole-sexy and played by a Lawrence bro and it’s like, you did it again, TGIF! Welcome to the family, Jack! Or like, when you’re deciding whether or not to put bacon on a cheeseburger. The burger already has cheese. And cheese is the best! Does it need bacon. YES it needs bacon. Always.

What I’m trying to say here, is that A is OAY’s long-lost bacon covered whole-sexy Lawrence brother. Love her. I do!

In addition to A, you’ll be seeing a lot of other changes around here. New layout, more images, maybe some TV recaps, guest posts, polls, haikus, who fucking knows. We clearly have not thought about it. One thing we can say for sure, is that we are back. (WOLF!!! JK, no wolf!!) No more writers blocking, whining or summer vacations.

Let’s get awkward!