Another Awkward (SHORT!) Week [7.3.13]

Helllooo, friends. Recapping the week on a Wednesday, say whaat? Whaat!

I slay myself.

But, haven't you heard? Wednesday is the new Friday, at least this week. I'm about to embark on a five day weekend in honor of America's Birthditty and I  hope the rest of you are too. And my non-American friends, well, hang in there, champs!

I am exhausted today - I've barely slept a wink in days. On Sunday, Brian introduced me to this BBC show currently streaming on Netflix called The Fall, starring Gillian Anderson, of X Files fame which is a show I have never once seen, because I wasn't allowed to watch much TV growing up, which is hilarious considering it is now basically all I do (take that, MOM!), but I'd always lie and pretend to have seen it so I would seem cool. In this new show she's some kind of Irish police detective hunting down a gruesome serial killer in Belfast, who is, I can not even lie about it just stupid sexy. This guy, it is just rude how handsome he is. Like, you know in cartoons where someone's jaw literally drops and their eyes but out and they go like "ah-oooooo-gah!" That is this guy.

Am I right or am I right? It's probably not polite to sit next to your boyfriend and repeatedly say "Holy shit, I want to make out with that television serial killer," but some things can not be stopped.

Anywaaaay sexy or not, this show is terrifying and the past two nights I've been home all alone and scared out of my wits. I was so afraid to turn the lights off or close my eyes and I've barely washed my face in two days because I kept expecting that scene in every horror movie ever where the person comes up from splashing their face with water and THERE'S SOMEONE ELSE IN THE MIRROR and hot or not, that's justtt not the way I want to go.

I need severe help.

And coffee.

Anyhoodle, it seems like a good show so I'd recommend it if you have a high threshold for serial-killer induced night terrors.

And that's what's up! Let's see what else was keeping it awkward this week:

This Covered Wagon:


I was visiting some gfs in Pennsylvania this weekend and we went to this massive, amazing flea market in New Hope (actually it was just over the bridge in Lawrenceville, NJ and when we walked over the bridge we stood with one foot in either state and quoted lines from the American Classic film A Walk To Remember starring Mandy Moore and based on the novel of the same name by Nicholas Sparks, because we are incredibly cool people) (haha that parenthetical aside was so long I forgot what I'm talking about!) and suddenly one of my friends yelled out 'Oh my god, Liz!" and pointed in the direction of a beautiful, hand carved covered wagon sitting atop a vendor's table. I rushed to it and my amazement was increased tenfold when the vendor informed me it was a actually a lamp that turns on and off by pressing the yoke up and down.

I died.

But when I resurrected I couldn't decide if it was worth the $10 he was charging - a price that's a little steep for a novelty lamp, even if the lamp does have a genuine canvas cover. He reduced the price to five bucks and the wagon was mine.

It works!


Best $5 I ever spent.

I did not purchase the butter churn pictured above, a move I'm sure I'll live to regret.

This Snack:


Also in New Hope (which BTW is the most adorable town EVER), we stopped for ice cream at this cuter than cute establishment and I got myself one scoop of something called the Jersey Shore, which was vanilla with swirls of salted caramel, yumz, and also a bottle of water...which I promptly forgot I had in my hand.

The cashier rung me up and informed me my total was $6.50 and I nearly fell to the floor. In an uncharacteristic move for my usual doormat self, I challenged her.

"Did you just say SIX-fifty?" I asked, with at-ti-tude

"Yes," she replied, professionally polite

"Um, no. This is ONE scoop, so it only costs four," says moi, at-ti-tude to the extreme

"Plus a bottle of water," she responded, a glare of disdain in her eyes.

Aaand then I quickly dropped my sass for my more typical "Omg! HAHA whoops, my bad! I totally forgot about the water, can you believe it? Clearly I'm dehydrated and need this, am I right? Thanks so much for ringing me up you're amazing I love you this store is amazing everything is great haha silly old me" and now I can never go back there again.


And, while we're still on the PA theme allow me to just brag quiiite quickly about...

This Social Media Achievement:

Screenshot_2013-07-02-21-10-03 (1)

Now, y'all know if there is one thing I love more than anything in the world, even covered wagons, it is sandwiches. And Wawa hoagies are definitely in the top five of my favorite sammies list. So obvi we had to stop at Wawa on the way back to NY to stock up and obvi I had to instagram a photo, hashtag hoagiefest because that's how I do and GUESS who "liked" my instagram.

WAWA. Their corporate account! Are you jealous or WHAT?!

The tiniest things that make my life complete.

This Calendar: 


Hanging above my desk at work. Notice the year? Yup: 2012. I snapped that photo yesterday, July 2, 2013.

I decorate my office nearly as well as I decorate my home.

This Register:


Monday night I committed the cardinal error of going for the self-checkout line at the grocery store.

It took me probably 45 minutes to ring up 12 items. None of my produce rang right, it kept yelling at me to put my items in the bag and when I finally tried to finish and pay it told me to take my final item out of the bag and scan it. So I took the item out of the bag only for the machine to tell me to return the item back to the bag. And repeat. This happened NINE times, I counted,before I finally got the idiot overseeing the self-check aisle to come help me. I was nearly in tears.

I should have known. Especially because, I HATE self check out aisles. Always! Something I really and truly despise is having automated voices boss me around. I could never drive with a GPS  system, which is too bad considering what a horrible driver I am. But I can't stand it! That fake, digital, stunted voice telling you to turn left and turn right and ohhh I'm recalculating the route.

Shut up!!! You're not a real person! I don't care if you have an Australian accent and are nicknamed "Ken" and are just trying to help me get from point A to point B without driving off a cliff. You're not the boss of me!

So, yeah, lesson learned. No more self-checkout. It was a stressful night.

This Wedding Invitation:


Remember THIS, the proudest moment of my life?

Well, my partner in dancing mortification is getting married himself in October and I just got the invite. His fiance wrote me a sweet personal note:

"P.S. I told my grandma to wear pants."

REAL CUTE Jennifer. Real cute.

P.S. she has a great food blog if you're into that kind of thang, and why wouldn't you be?

Annnnnd fianally, land the plane, Elizabeth:

This Public Service Announcement:

Google Reader is no mas as of this week so if you were using the GR to keep up with this here blog, you sadly are no longer able to do that. Actually, since it already shut down, if you were using Googs Reads to follow the blog you're probably not currently reading this as your reader is already gone, and all the good bloggers already gave this warning welllll in advance so that their followers could be primed and ready but if there is one thing I've never been called it is a good blogger so there ya have it.

If you would like to be kept CONSTANTLY up to date with the latest and greatest in Liz Ho land, might I suggest:

Clicking The Button Marked 'Follow Me' On The Right of Your Screen - you'll be registered to get an email every time I update. A dream come true, I'm sure.

Following Me on BlogLovin' - you can keep up with alll your favy fave blogs via one great site and they have lessons on importing your Google Reader

Checking Out Feedly - which is something that people are apparently into but I still don't know how to use, so good luck with that

Or 'Liking" One Awkward Year on Facebook - click hyperlink or "Like Me!" button to your right. I have 96 facebook fans right now and a prize for whoever becomes my 100th follower.

Just kidding the prize is nothing but I sure would be happy!

Or, you could probably just take the sane route and run far, far away from all this craziness but what fun would that be? Not much fun.

Have I mentioned how much I appreciate y'all checking into this weird corner of the internet? Because I do, a lot!

And that's a wrap. Lottttta rambing for a short week. Happy Independence Day to All and to All a Good Night!

Stars & Stripes Forever, Liz Ho