Oh hey! If you have dozens of spare hours to fill, might I suggest catching up on the past five years of my thrilling life? Archived below: my original blog One Awkward Year, which won the 2014 Pulitzer Prize in Internet Oversharing.
JK that's not even a real thing. But it does have a lot of poop jokes. ENJOY!
I was talking to my good friend Large Marge last week and she said she thought my blog would be better if it had more photos and/or videos. And then I told her to mind her own beeswax and punched her in the face. Just kidding! I like where her head’s at. So I’ma take that advice. Marge actually inspired my post on serial killers.** Word on the street is, and this is totally just a rumor, you so didn’t hear it from me, but she’s one of those ladies who writes love letters to prisoners on death row and then brings them cakes and marries them through the jailhouse bars and stuff. Don’t tell her I told you, she’s crazy!
Taking her great advice, I’m starting a new feature called Awkward Afternoon Delight. (Maybe it won’t be called this? I was pretty psyched about it but now that I see it typed out I think it looks kinda dumb? Accepting suggestions in the comments or firstname.lastname@example.org, thanksss.) Every afternoon I’ll share tidbits I find on the World Wide Web: awkward videos, photos, links, etc. This is in addition to, not in place of, my own hilarrrious life stories. No need to fret, I’ll never stop talking about myself.
So! Without further ado I present Jon Hammeos (Link from Jezebel, photo from my spank bank):
So I guess this vid isn't that awkward but the uncontrollable moans of ecstasy this video causes me might make some of my co-workers uncomfortable. JK that's both a joke and kind of gross but I did watch the video while trying to eat yogurt with a plastic butter knife so, still awkward!
** UGH NO comment on the Casey Anthony scandal, my brain has not yet been able to process the web of complex and unnecessary emotions. Yesterday six separate people texted me the second they announced the verdict and today, one of them said “it's kind of weird how whenever I see her I think of you.” Real cool legacy I’m establishing for myself.