Hello, world! It's Friday. How was your week? Mine was totally better than last week untillllllll yesterday.
So my colleague has a mild (major) online shopping habit and a few of us were in her office pawing through a new delivery of swimsuits, discussing how off the sizing seemed on the tops. I held one up to my chest, cupped my boobs and said - loudly - "this is a real precarious nipple situation" when who should choose that very moment to walk past the open office door and hear/see me than my MALE BOSS.
Bye forever I quit!
JK I need the money. Wine (even screwtops) ain't free.
ALSO this is only the second most awkward OBMMB (Overheard By My Male Boss, duh) Moment in my life. The first comes from way back in my young assistant days. I was working for a different male boss at the time and one day I was sitting in my cubicle chatting with some of my girlfriends about my recent visit to the gynecologist. (Publishing is so full of women, we sometimes find it maybe too safe a space to share our personal lives.) My cube had those high walls on 3 sides where you could just see the tippy top of people's heads as they walked past. So there we were, chatting away and I was telling them how my gyno and I had been discussing the guardasil shot, which I'd been hesitant to get because it wasn't covered by my insurance and I said, AND I QUOTE:
"She said I could just go to Planned Parenthood and get it taken care of."
"...get it taken care of..."
WHOOOOOOSE head do you think we saw come over the cube wall at that very very veryeryeryery moment?
Who now clearly assumed I was dealing with some kind of scandalous unplanned pregnancy situation. Awk. I briefly entertained the idea of letting him think that and trying to get a few days off but that would be macabre EVEN FOR ME so I just pretended it never happened but oh god guys, you think I'd have learned my lesson about yelling possibly inappropriate things in the office, wouldn't you?
You would be wrong.
Happy weekend, babes. Be on guard for precarious nipple situations! Or at least shut the door when you're talking about your body parts!
xoxo Liz Hott