Another Awkward Week [4.17.15]

Happy Fridaaaayyyyyy!  How was everybody's week?! It was so sunny and warm and springy and that just fills me with pure delight. Delight! 

My week was basically just an endless lesson in how (not) to properly care for my belongings. Let's take a look at what was keeping it awkward this week. 

These Pants:

holey pants

Y'all I went on a bit of an online shopping spree a few weeks ago. The Monday after Easter I came in to find my inbox full of blasts from stores crowing "Easter Sale! Last Day! Buy Buy Buy!" and I fell hardddddd for the guerilla marketing and went into like, a full on trance and just bought all kind of stupid stuff, which on one hand is great because I did need some new things for spring/summer but also bad because a. $$$ and b. half of the stuff doesn't fit and now I need to deal with the whole return process.

Sigh. MY LIFE IS SO HARD.

Anyway, one of my many purchases was this pair of navy blue trousers from Old Navy's "pixie" line (as always, not sponsored), I already have them in black and a checked pattern so why not add on. It's my signature look! 

I decided to wear to work yesterday and had not yet cut off the tags (do you wash new clothes before you wear them? Am I gross? Not the point!) and I just knowingly, lazily put them on my body with the tags still on and then even lazierly (new word) tried to cut the tag off the back by grabbing a pair of scissors and blindly reaching around behind myself.

Andddddd cut a hole in the butt of my pants.

Great. Job. Liz! 

PS totally still wore them to work yesterday, just FYI. Hole and everything. 

How much time would it have taken me to cut them off before I put them on? Or to call out to Brian who was standing 8 feet away from me and ask him to do it? 5 seconds? 12, max? Now I have to spend a million hours dealing with this. It's prettty mendable, I think a patch on the inside will do just the trick but now I gotta like, sew? Or iron? I don't even know. I am going home next weekend and will probbbably bring them home and ask my mommy to do it for me because I am 30 Going on 13. 

ALSO was this the only new item of clothing I managed to destroy before even wearing out of the house? Of course not. See also... 

This Shirt:

spray shirt

SO CUTE RIGHT? What you can't see in this photo is teeny, tiny little dots of hair spray all over the shirt. I always spray my hair with clothes on and I don't know what happened this time, guys! It might be the fabric (100% Rayon) (Is Rayon tacky?!) or just some bad luck or I dunno what but now I have a new favorite top and a new laundry disaster to deal with. I THINK I'll just take it to the dry cleaner but, any tips? 

Aside from constantly covering myself in a plastic poncho???

ALSO not new, but still destroyed within the past seven days... 

This Purse:

burnt purse

Last Saturday I attended the lovely wedding of my friends Ursula and Nelson and it was really a perfect day - warm, sunny and a beautiful celebration.  Also, there was a bit of down-time between the ceremony and reception (#catholicprobz) and we realized we were in the suburbs WITH A CAR so how do you think we killed the time?

Oh yes, we went to Target.

stud in tarjay

(Such a stud.)

Ok totally sidetracked. Anywaaaay, at one point during the reception I got up to go to the ladies room and then leisurely walked back to our table, stopping at the bar, saying hello to people and when I got back to the table, the rest of the crew sitting there were in hysterics, yelling "your purse! On fire!"

Apparently I had left my clutch sitting a little too close to a candle and the oh-so-faux leather CAUGHT FIRE and went up in flames!!! 

My first question to them was not a) was anyone hurt or b) is my stuff ruined or even c) did the bride notice but d) Did anyone take a picture?!

No one took a picture! They were too busy "putting out the fire" and "not burning down our friend's wedding." 

Uh, priorities, guys. Reevaluate them.

PS: what is it with me and fire at weddings?

PSS: Congrats Ursula and Nelson!!  And special shot-out to MOH Andrea! 

PSSSSSS: Extra Bonus Awkward Family Photo:

awkward peacock

There was a peacock roaming the grounds of their reception and every time he would come by everyone at the wedding would run out and chase him around and hope he'd open up his tail. Finally he did right towards the end of the wedding, almost like he planned it, and everyone posed for photos with him and THAT is the best of the bunch of me and Brian.

WHY am I standing like that? Why. We have like 9 pictures with this GD peacock and in every single one I'm squatting like I have to pee...and I'm really excited about it. And Brian's just like...let's get this over with, folks. 

Framer.

And that was the week! Anything fun planned for the weekend? I'll obviously be doing laundry, mending and/or shopping for new clothes since I've destroyed all of mine.

Actuallllly I'm excited for the weekend - Brian is hosting a bachelor party for his bestie (can boys have besties? GOING WITH IT!) and a bunch of dudes are crashing at our apartment tomorrow night, so I'm vacating and having a slumber party at my bestie's apartment! Kathleen was my old roommate for a million years (you may recall her from the Round Brush Incident of 2010...or the lighting things on fire at weddings incident just mentioned above) so it'll be just like old days. We can share clothes and then we're going to a birthday party together and then we can sit around and be hungover and eat bacon egg and cheese sandwiches together on Sunday morning. YAY! And thennn I'm going to a bridal shower! What. A. Weekend.

I hope yours is equally jam-packed and fun and fabulous. Be careful around open flames and hairspray and DEFINITELY around both together!!!

xoxoxo Liz Hott